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“It is on your driver’s license, so there are times I am going to have to,” he joked. He knew that I meant I wanted to close out who I was and fully become Honey. My husband often liked to use humor to add some levity to moments like this.“Then change my name legally, Master,” I said.“Hmm, Honey Holes?” he joked about my last name being holes. It was the name the DJ called me at a strip club during a spur of the moment opportunity to called on stage. Honey had become my name, though, and it meant a lot to me now because my husband saw me as Honey, and he loved me as Honey. That meant so much to me that I couldn’t even express it in words.The kids have stopped calling me Mom for the most part and it has taken some getting used to it but it really has made the transition to Honey even easier for me. I find myself getting humiliated even more than normal when they give me training commands and call me Mom at the same time.“I might do that after I get you tattooed and pierced,” my husband. ‘Hold me, Grant, please.’ Grant was more than happy to oblige but he was so worried. What was this about, had she had another nightmare? ‘Oh sweety, what can I do to make you feel better? I hate to see you sad.’ ‘I don’t know Grant. I think I just need some time alone. Will you take me home?’ Grant’s heart fell. He wanted to be what she needed, he wanted it so badly. But, he had to try to understand, and help. ‘Of course. Lemme fetch you something to wear home.’ Grant dropped her off at home feeling totally and completely impotent. He thought he was making so much ground with her. He tried so hard to make her feel safe and now it felt like she was pulling away. Grant was angry. It was building. He knew logically that none of this was her fault, that she was doing the best she could. But, he couldn’t help the anger and frustration bubbling underneath the surface. When would she trust him? He drove home quickly to brood. Mary walked into her house feeling lost and confused. What was.
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